Sunday, December 13, 2015

Not a good sign

Last month I saw Spectre, the newest entry in the James Bond series. (I know, I'm really behind on blogging; it's been an interesting year.) Now that I'm sitting down to actually blog about the film I'm finding that I remember very little of the film unless I concentrate very hard. And that's not a good sign.

Daniel Craig is my favorite Bond. I think Casino Royal is brilliant, I completely enjoyed Skyfall and thought it was a very good film, and I even liked Quantum of Solace, which is widely considered terrible. I remember enjoying Spectre in the theater, I remember having a lot of fun watching it, and I remember essentially nothing about the plot.

There was a Jaws-like villain with evil thumbnails? And a pretty cool car chase in Italy? Monica Bellucci wasn't in the movie enough - I do remember that. Cristoph Waltz is fun to watch but doesn't appear to have much of a dramatic range (or maybe he's just being typecast these days). I don't know. I don't know. I can throw a lot of individual bits of information at you but I can't really remember the movie.

The title sequence was fun as fuck to watch but I can't recall the song. I do seem to remember that Tom Ford suits played heavily in the film but only because I fucking hate Tom Ford and thought they should have looked for a less douchey clothier. There was a fight scene on a train! It was really good but it didn't make a hell of a lot of sense. But then neither did much of the rest of the movie.

Um. Maybe I should give a spoiler warning for the one thing that really stuck out.
They made Blofeld really fucking stupid. His motivation for being the head of Spectre as laid out by this film is implausibly idiotic. SPOILERS: Blofeld started an international criminal organization, killed his own father, and faked his death to get back at Bond because when Bond was orphaned Blofeld Senior told Ernst to treat James like a brother. That's it. All the glorious cat-and-mouse of the last three films boils down to sibling rivalry. FUCKING WHAT. EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME THAT'S MORE STUPID THAN ANYTHING IN A ROGER MOORE BOND FILM.

So I guess that's where I'm at. I walked out of the theater happy because it was an entertaining action movie but by the next day I was busy screaming about some really flawed creative choices and the really flawed creative choices have stuck around more in my memory than the fun parts of the film that I enjoyed.

That's...that's not how it's supposed to work.

     - Alli

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