Friday, May 23, 2014

I paid for this at some point?

Yesterday I wandered into the house to hang out with my puppy; suddenly it was a couple of hours later and I had just watched Saw II while doling out ear-scratches to a chihuahua mutt. The dog was pretty happy with the whole situation but I felt retroactively guilty for having spent actual, real money to see Saw II in theaters on Halloween almost ten years ago.

The story is shit. Cancerous Jigsaw has locked a bunch of people in a house/torture-chamber and they all have something in common aside from being there and it has to do with the cop (who I think is a Walburg brother) watching this remotely as he's talking to Jigsaw who's the one really being tortured here. I guess. Something something. Also it doesn't make any sense. Oh, Dina Meyer and her amazing cheekbones are in it too, and as much as I adore her in Johnny Mnemonic and Starship Troopers she's usually a pretty good indication that your movie is edging into Razzie territory. Some of the characters have their stories expanded upon a little, but you're mostly left in the dark.

Which is a convenient segue into the fact that the movie looks like shit too! In some ways this is a good thing, because the sets are supposed to look like shit (which they do, thanks to David Hackl who was the production designer on a couple of crappy movies I actually enjoy: Repo! The Genetic Opera, and Outlander) but in other ways this is a terrible thing because something went wrong with the lighting or the shot quality and so all of the cool nasty traps and gross stuff hanging out in the background are either washed out and grainy or dim and grainy from shot to shot.

The flick wasn't the biggest critical or fan favorite of the series (that honor goes to the original - I'm sure Cary Elwes is thrilled) - but it did put up the biggest box office numbers, so that's something. And I got to contribute to that. Yay.

Anyway, I'd say skip it and probably will do the same in the future - there's better gorenography to be had out there and the traps in the first one are cooler-looking and more visible.

     - Alli

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